….why paisley???

this post is courtesy of three word wednesday

there is a back story to this,, and the poem may not mean anything unless you know what that back story is,, and why the things i have seen,, are weighing so heavily on my mind as the date june, 20th draws ever closer… and no.. i haven’t told anyone but you…..

if you would like to view the story behind this you may read the back story, here: (mis)information …

maybe june 20th
will come and go-
without incident.
maybe no one will die
or be seriously injured
and i will never have to feel
like i should have said something
maybe,, it was a dream…
maybe, i am not
a human portal after all..
maybe i cannot see the things
i think i have seen,
and i am being overly cautious.
for no reason at all…

but maybe,,
just maybe…
i will be right again….

photo:

http://fc01.deviantart.com/images3/i/2004/166/f/5/Fear.jpg

this is a combination of the words found on 3ww, easystreet prompts and two for tuesdays…..

predestinations paradox
generic spawn of egg and seed
the empty essence of vanilla
spoon fed domesticity…
submissive scions through out history
sired to propagate the breed-
lessons learned and loves extracted
deviation, all but foreseen…

insurgent adolescence
hormones screaming freedoms name
the road less traveled
becomes a highway
paved, in smoldering apron strings..
enter a generation of inebriates
drunk,, on youths immortal wine
navigating life, under the influence-
all destinations, lost in time…

yet when the propencity toward age
has dulled the appitite for indulgence,
and even the stolen dew of youth,
has lost it’s glow…
when intoxication, can no longer lessen,,
that which is not willing to be ignored..
even the road less traveled
can circle around, and bring you home….

photo:

http://kayceeus.deviantart.com/art/Coming-Home-29748837

as i reflected, yet again
on the picture of
unrest in the world today,,
i realized,,,
the source for all of our
most pressing concerns
can be summed up
in two words…

..money and pussy..

you may think me crude
for having
brought life down
to this,, its simplest form.
after all- we are intelligent,
civilized, human beings.
are we not??

we have evolved
far past the point where
monetary gratification
and carnal knowledge
are the root cause
(of all evil)
have we not??

stop and think about it
war
crime
abuse
hunger
disease
pollution

oversimplification??

perhaps… but
which of the above
is not the direct result of:
the lack of…
the desire for…
or the exploitation of…
either money or sex???

photo:

http://fc02.deviantart.com/fs14/f/2007/049/7/1/Sins_of_Greed___Wicked_Day_11_by_MicrophoneMistress.jpg

a little piece of flash for three word wednesday…

edgar sat entranced at elsie’s bedside, tenderly touching his wife’s near lifeless hand, as her body entered the final stage of life. the rise and fall of her chest had long since ceased to be visible, but the gentle warmth of her frail hand,, cupped firmly in his own, allowed him to know,, she was still there with him..

he supposed he had lived a lifetime wondering what this moment would be like,, but now that it was here,, all he could think of was how glad he was that “his elsie” wasn’t here.. as she had always hated having to say good bye…

photo:

http://prc666.deviantart.com/art/Old-Couple-51896710

todays inspiration from poefusion was to use the words of wisdom (?) found in a fortune cookie and create a poem surrounding it… it just so happened that i had an actual fortune from a long ago eaten cookie in my basket of tricks, here on my windowsill… so i chose to use it,, in combination with the words offered on todays three word wednesday, from which i fashioned a contrived fortune….. i did however opt for a piece of flash fiction instead of a poem….

fortune contrived from the words at 3ww: bouncing into a mysterious parallel universe is not a viable excuse for tardiness.
fortune from the actual cookie: you have an ambitious nature and will make a name for yourself.

bouncing into a mysterious parallel universe is not a viable excuse for tardiness. and yet as melanie made a mad dash toward the closing elevator door,, no more feasible excuse was making itself available to her…

she certainly could not offer the real reason behind her turning up half an hour late,, as few would believe her if she told them that she,, miss texas 2005,, had spent last night wining, dining and seducing, damien, the overweight,, hygienically challenged,, male chauvinist asshole from the marketing department….

and fewer still would believe that she had spent the last hour and a half struggling to drag damien’s drug addled body into the bathtub where he was currently doing the electric slide with the blow drier…

oh well.. it didn’t much matter what they believed,, as now that the only other “silent applicant” for the opening as the new VP of marketing was out of the way,, she would finally realize her true destiny…

as the elevator whirred up the 27 floors toward the marketing department,, melanie reread the tiny strip of paper she had extracted from a “fortune” cookie at lunch yesterday,, just moments before discovering damien’s ill fated application… “you have an ambitious nature and will make a name for yourself.”

photo:

http://erinmo.deviantart.com/art/fortune-27495972

inspiration courtesy of, three word wednesday

photo: empty bar - cardiff by: jkaranka

head held fast, on open palm
elbow bent, hard pressed, atop the bar
as one more glass, of liquid courage
was met by a token, appreciative nod
from whence he came, no one questioned
where he was headed, no one cared
no longer a factor, in the human equation
he was just another drunk, at the end of the bar….

in the mood for something a bit more controversial??? join me over at just paisley….

for the second week in a row,, i have been up when bone posted the words for three word wednesday,, and then laid back down for an hour or so,, only to dream something not only spectacularly visual,, but ever so fitting as a cornice for the words…

i flew into to chicago,
and was checking in to my hotel,
when across the spacious lobby,
i noticed,, my sister was there-
attending some convention
on some organic voodoo rot-
so i quickly changed the subject,,,

“have you heard from mom?”

“she is living in chicago,,
she left dad, and just ran off..
with some rich guy that
owns some game called “wand!”…
and is evidently made of money… ”

i flew into a panic,,
my thoughts engulfed in rage..
seeing red, i hailed a taxi,
and took off for her hotel…
“hotel” was an understatement,,
“palace” was more the word.
and they were living in the penthouse-
that had it’s own name,, “4 power”..

i knocked and mother answered..
i pushed passed her thru the door,,
screaming in confused madness,,
“i have never understood!!
how you could destroy our family,,
with your holier than thou…
or why, i was never good enough!
you have looked down
on my whole life-
and now you’re living in sin
with some rich guy
in some fancy hotel in chicago??”

“and you never even called me…”

rich guy entered screaming,
that in this room she was his wife,,
and if i didn’t leave immediately
he was gonna call the cops…
having had my fill, in this life,
of tangling with the law,,
i found myself retreated-
to the grand hotel’s lobby,
booking immediate passage home…

as i stood there waiting, for my turn,
my eyes were somehow drawn,
to the family that stood ahead of me, in line.
the fathers throat, oddly enough,,
was splayed in glossy lipstick kisses..
and when someone pointed it out-
he said, he “had lost a bet,,
and had to wear them all day long…”
with that- his family exploded in laughter..

“they are having so much fun….”

photo:

http://agoodnightlament.deviantart.com/art/Chicago-72920674

i asked for and received some wonderful information on dream recall from christine over at mariachristina... and as luck would have it i had an amazingly vivid dream just this morning,, that i was able to write down in great detail upon waking… this particular dream was comprised of many interesting characteristics… people from the past… places i have never been but are familiar to me as they have been settings for other dreams,,, and most puzzling of all,, the male lead that i know,, i feel loved by and passion for,, and although i see him and i know he is there,, i have no idea who he really was….

i have encapsulated my dream and the feelings i am left with as a result of having dreamed it here for you today in response to the three word wednesday prompt to use the words: apartment, numb, began…

the dream began
with “us” making our way home
as the dusk settled
and the streetlights began to flicker
i was dancing with abandon
in high heeled white satin shoes,,
covered in glittering blue gemstones
beautiful and elegant
unlike anything i had ever seen
let alone owned…

i saw an old abandoned house
where i had lived
in a small upstairs apartment
for a time in another dream..
we sneaked in the back door
and came upon numerous people..
people i had know in the past,,
until one day i just disappeared
from the numb normal life
that i had shared with them..

i guess it was soon after i disappeared
from the white bread world
in which i had known them
that i came to live
in this old abandoned house
back in the days
when life was but a dream
and i was free
to dance in the streets
in high heeled white satin shoes,,
covered in glittering blue gemstones
unlike anything i had ever seen…

photo:

http://maliciarosenoire.deviantart.com/art/Cendrillon-60889816

the words this week supplied by three word wednesday are: apology, distance, consider

for those of you that read me on a regular basis.. i apologize for my inability to refrain from the morose.. the following is a dirge.. it is a death march that keeps playing in my head… it is mournful and melancholy… but the melody,, is mine…

i distance myself
from this somber existence.
i cloak my
emotional upheaval
in words, strung together
in such a way
that in the end
i can feel
some semblance
of pride,,
or accomplishment,,
perhaps-
a moments usefulness.
i bury my head
in the sands of
inter-web reality,
portraying my thoughts
in such a way
that in the end,,
even i am remiss
to recognize them
as token pieces
of my own heart
wrapped up in
someone else’s
pretty pictures….

and then, i hit send…

i tell myself
this is my place in life.
that i bring words to life
and that in so doing
my bleakness
very well may bring
someone else light…
i coax myself
out of the darkness
with stale promises
i know i cannot keep..
i stroke my muse
as she hones herself,,
sharpens her
grammatical incisors,
exorcises her
punctual aggressions,
preparing herself
for the day she considers
my apology complete…
for the moment
when at last
she will free me
and i don’t have to write anymore..
when she is content…
and i,, have nothing left to say..

and then, i hit send

knowing i have left
no crevice unexposed..
no emotion uneviscerated…
and i no longer have to pretend,
that this is enough…

photo:

http://fc02.deviantart.com/images2/i/2003/50/c/c/Used__fin.jpg

brought to you courtesy of three word wednesday… the words this week are: Girlfriend, Imagined, Slight

over the course of the past year, i have in fact become invisible (to the opposite sex)…

while i began pondering this possibility last year,, it has been ongoing for so long now, that there is no longer a question as to whether or not i am imagining it…. the jury is in,, and and i am guilty of having fallen off the radar of human sexuality…

so you can imagine my surprise when this week,, a mere five days apart, when two people asked me for my phone number,, one even mentioned the word date….

what is happening in my head as an aftermath is most unusual.. one would think that i would be thrilled.. that i would be reassured,, all traces of fear removed,, and once again feel like a sexually acceptable member of society… but this is not the case….

where as i will say,, i am slightly enamored with the fact that i am not “dead”… i am scared to death of the questions that have arisen in my head as a result….

who am i? what do i have to offer in a relationship? could i ever really be someones girlfriend? or have a submerged myself so deeply in a safe little world of my own creation that to leave it would be a distraction from life,, instead of an enrichment ??

subconsciously, or otherwise, i successfully sabotaged myself with one of the interested parties, by being overtly honest in my responses to questions he was probably just asking as a means of simple conversation… the other,, i am yet to hear from.. but that is more than ok..

it is evident i need to think this through…..

photo:

http://ellimere.deviantart.com/art/Invisible-17499284